from words we let escape
a seperation of thought
released unto the physical
traveling in vibration
ideas through the oxygen
raising the hairs on the backs of our necks
they chip at our self given identities
degenerating & recreating
souls can touch in this way
if we let them
power that remains untaimed
weilded ny only the brave
soul expressions carried in the air
creating goosebumps on our skin.
I just want to take a second to acknowledge that being alone is hard. Not having someone that affirms your existence isn’t fun. It’s human nature to want to build relationships: to want human connection. We’re created to live with other people. So naturally, and almost obviously: being alone is hard.
I like to pretend that being alone is fun and exhilarating… but really, it’s not. There are times when I’m just tired of being alone. When I want to curl into a ball and just let myself be week… Sometimes, I just want to be held. That’s not to say that I need another person to be completed. No, I’m not looking for co-dependence. I’m looking for love in co-existence.
But, I don’t get to have that. It’s not my fault, it’s not anyone’s fault. I don’t know if it’s timing, or just bad luck. But for now, I just have to learn how to be alone. And it’s not easy. I just really want someone to look me in the eye and affirm that being alone is hard. To affirm that being strong for myself is tiring… and it’s okay to want someone else to be strong for me.
Being alone is hard. But I think that learning how to do so is worth the heartache of loneliness. Learning to be alone is worth lying in bed staring at the ceiling wanting someone to reach out and hold your hand. Learning to be alone is worth drinking coffee by you and watching couples stare at each other in innocent embarrassment. Learning to be alone is worth eating dinner by yourself night after night. Learning to be alone is worth it. Because without being alone, being together wouldn’t be worth anything at all.